The courtyard stretched back from the house a few hundred yards. Taika and Laika sat, hunched in their furs near the far end, while Father Jarvinem sat off to the side. They were far enough out that the warmth pumped up from the underground vents couldn’t well reach them, and so their breath frosted in the air.
All had their Cenric Books open in front of them. Laika’s on the ground opened halfway, Taika’s on her lap. Both whispered little bits of syllables and verses in dead and dying languages, ka ma mi ae ae, Laika’s whispering concise, Taika’s punctuated with uhm and uh occasionally. Father Jarvinem surveyed them both, and his eyes were set on the pair of torches in front of his daughters.
The one closest to Laika burst into flames, and she sighed, grinned, and turned to Taika. “I win,” she said, loud.
"Excellent job, Laika." Father Jarvinem said.
It almost broke Taika’s concentration, but she uttered a final pyra and her own torch lit, though with a sputter that died a few seconds later when a wind swept through the back yard. “I did it,” Taika said softly. How would she have done differently? She thought she’d been the quickest, chosen the most concise incantations.
“Your last phase was redundant, Taika,” Father Jarvinem said sharply, closing his book and standing. “You will recite yourself into circles and arrive at the spell well after your opponent has.” He shook his head, starting back toward the mansion.
Laika stuck out her tongue at Taika, and Taika followed, clutching her fur cape and book to her chest.
They entered the mansion, Taika waiting to close the doors, struggling for a moment as a gust of warm air from inside tried to keep them open. When she finally slammed the door and threw the lock, she heard voices from the grand hall. She realized it would be supper now, and hurried after Laika, hoping Mother would not be too cruel to her for having done so poorly on Father Jarvinem's test.
But from the tone of Belka’s voice, Taika supposed Mother’s anger was already occupied.
“I can’t make the journey,” Belka said, her voice simmering just below a shout. “Not with Vesela here. She’ll harass the town, and our family name will be ruined for not taking command. Aestiva forbid if we let the Kalinforth’s take the chance. And am I not the best choice to champion our family?” She was certainly tall, and wide of shoulder. Laika sometimes said that with a little bit more bulkiness, Belka would pass for a man. Though Taika thought it was a cruel barb, or intended to be cruel, as Belka was in her eyes still very much a woman.
“But you are the most fit, Belka,” Mother said calmly, glancing at Taika and Laika as they entered the dining hall.
Laika tensed a little, but not enough for anyone but Taika to notice. Does she think she’d be a better choice? Taika thought. I hope so. I can’t imagine...
“Yeah?” Belka asked, now looking between Laika and Taika. And then to Father. “We’ve got a real simple solution, since the cleric’s quest is a useless expenditure.” Her bright, blazing eyes centered on Taika. “We’ll fulfill the duty for this year, and I’ll go on the next cycle.”
Mother gave Taika a patronizing smile. “Sweetie,” she said, to Belka, “Laika and Taika have much to learn, and Taika will need many more lessons than Laika.”
Father glared at Taika, and she shrunk in her seat. She could see his thoughts so clearly, We should get rid of the real shame. Taika’s hair felt darker than before, as her blonde haired family looked over her. She started to push herself away from the table, but reminded herself that she would not be getting another meal if she asked for it later in the evening. And so she grabbed a plate and tried to focus on it, shutting out the continuing argument between Mother and Belka, and the whispers between Laika and Father.
“Well, we can’t avoid addressing this,” Mother said, straightening her sleeves. Her voice, so clear, had cut through Taika's attempt to shut her out. “The time to discuss this is now, with the day of departure a week away.” She drew herself up to full height, almost standing.
Laika and Belka looked on expectantly, Belka offering Taika a kind of pitiful glance. Even Father held his tongue.
“If Belka is so dead set on her foolish abdication,” Mother said, “then Taika must take up the mantle. She is the next eldest...” She shot Belka a sideways glance. “And it is the next eldest that must take the cleric’s cloak and travel south, to restore Aestiva’s light, and save us all.” She said bitterly.
Belka stood up from her seat, and with an accusatory glare to Taika, said, “You’re trying to make me feel guilty, for sending her on this fool’s quest. But I’m not the one culpable, should anything happen to her.”
I wish they’d stop talking like I wasn’t here. “Maybe... maybe we could wait," Taika said, "and you could... come with me, after you’ve dealt with the...”
Belka’s severe expression faded. “It would still be your quest,” she said softly. “But you...”
“There is already one to escort Taika,” Father said. “I foresaw your stubborn nature, Belka, and invited Bekan.”
Belka snorted, and suppressed a chuckle. “Is this supposed to slight me? By sending Taika to get killed with a cousin?”
Taika jumped at the bluntness of Belka’s statement. Get... killed?
“I hope Bekan has improved since I last saw him, then,” Belka said.
---
Taika waited until the servants came to collect the dishes, until after Belka, Mother, Father, and Laika deserted the dining room. She set her Cenric Book on the table and flipped through the pages. Fire, she read. Shorthand, shortcuts, how to say much more with much less. Incantations and runes to expedient temporary spells.
“Missus Taika?”
Taika looked up. A lone servant looked up at her. The little girl servant named Sola, black haired like Taika, with slightly slimmer eyes. “Hello,” Taika said, weakly.
“Are you okay?” Sola asked.
“Yeah,” Taika said. She closed her book, to focus on Sola. Taika felt as though she identified more with Sola than the other servants. “I’m sorry, did you need something?”
“Itko said you need to leave, so we can clean the room,” Sola said. “Sorry.” She stood aside, averted her eyes.
On instinct, Taika averted her eyes too, and then half smiled. “Okay,” she said.
Taika swept from the room before she could say anything else. Day to day, Taika had not envied Sola’s lot in life, but the realization that Sola was never fated for the cleric’s journey struck Taika as they’d apologized to one another.
It was a kind of cruel fairness, Taika thought, that Taika would enjoy the comfortable lifestyle of a holy family’s child, even if she knew her father thought her a bastard. And Sola, who only ever knew servitude, might continue to live the safety guaranteed by serving a holy family. The Jarvinem family.
Taika found she’d wandered into the entrance hall. The double front doors stood locked against the cold whistling down the city streets, and likely against the pedestrians and commoners. People like Sola and her father, Itko. Taika marched halfway up the stairs on the right side of the room and sat down. Taking deep, heavy breaths. Her Cenric Book on her lap.
A few minutes passed like that. And then there was a knock. Taika started up, but Itko wandered into the room. He gave Taika a slow, passing glance, and opened the double doors. “Pardon,” Itko said.
“Very sorry, I’m ahead of schedule,” the man on the other side said.
“Come in, you are the cousin?” Itko asked.
“Yeah!” He said, stepping inside, brushing snow from his cloak. He had a sheathed greatsword on his back and a pack over his shoulder. Bright blonde hair and tall, proud stature. He looked around, and then at Taika. “Laika?” He asked.
“N-No,” she said. “Are you Bekan? I can’t remember you too well.”
Bekan nodded, with a smile. “I was joking,” he said. “Of course you’re Taika.” He walked up to her, his long legs carrying him faster than Taika could readily prepare for. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been...” She said faintly. Years and years? How should I begin to describe all of the years? I can only remember being mistreated...
“Ah, me too,” Bekan said with a sigh. He walked over to her, and shrugged off his broadsword, dumping it into Itko’s hands. Itko grumbled, marching away, and a look of concern crossed Bekan’s features. “Taika, you look worried.” He sat down beside her, and pointed at her Cenric Book. “Have you been studying much?”
Taika nodded. She didn’t know how to respond. She hadn’t really ever even thought of him until he’d walked in. Like some ghost in the past. But now a real thing. “I’m really sorry,” Taika said. “I can’t hardly remember what you’re like.”
He smiled. “It’s fine,” he said. “I only just learned what you’re like, from the letter your father sent me. It arrived at the end of my own training. You know, I’ve been training for the cleric’s journey too. I think I may be the one to be selected this year! Your father said my invitation had something to do with the cleric’s journey, after all!” He grinned, patting her on the shoulder. “What do you think? Though you hardly know me, have I made a fine first impression?”
Taika took a pause. Mulling over responses like, no, you haven’t or yes, you seem very nice. Instead she said, “I was chosen.” And there was a moment of silence. “Father asked you to come, to be my escort, because my older sister is more focused on the dragonknight near the border.”
Bekan blinked. She expected some kind of indignation, a fierce proud grimace. But instead he patted her on the shoulder again. “Consider me your protector, Taika,” he said.
“R-Really?” Taika asked.
“You’re family,” he said. “And I knew it was possible. It’s like with your sister. The ones who train and yearn... they often find themselves in unlikely positions. Of not being the chosen clerics.” Now he did frown, only slightly. “But this dragonknight... perhaps I could help Belka before we leave?”
“Well you... don’t...” Taika said, “have to.”
“Maybe we could even get her to come with us,” Bekan said, distantly. He seemed to be peering off into space. “I’m sorry. I knew who you were the instant I entered. Your hair makes it obvious. You must hear that all the time.”
Taika sighed. And now he’ll say his earlier kindnesses were false. “It’s fine,” she said.
“I’m a bastard too, in a way,” he said. “Not as much as to be one made light of. But I do care. And I care that you’re one too.”
For a moment, Taika couldn’t speak. What? Gasping, Taika slid a little further away from him on the stairs, looked down at her feet. “I’ll have to get you to your rooms now,” she said, standing. “Room I mean. Your room.”
“No need,” Itko said. He stood near the front door still. In his stillness, Taika had forgotten he was even there. It made her feel more embarrassed. “Sir?” He started walking toward the stairs on the opposite side of the hall to shepherd Bekan away. “This way, please.”
---
In the study, Taika read from a historical book Father Jarvinem had assigned her for lessons. The text was small, and she had to hold a piece of parchment under whichever line she was reading to keep from losing her place. Albeaux took to the old ways, ordering the Scarlet Order’s Cenric Books to be burned, and the knives smelted into a sword. His final manifesto included commands for a revolution to overthrow Cenric, to return to unobstructed worship of--
“Did you see the new guy?” Laika whispered.
Taika looked up from her book, for a moment fooled into thinking Laika was talking to her. Instead, she saw Sola standing next to Laika. Laika had only a novel, probably a romance novel, and she was keeping it closed with her index to save her spot. “Yes,” Sola said. “He is... quite...”
“Handsome!” Laika said. “Those shoulders, his noble features. You can see it in his eyes, he is of a noble family for sure.” She glanced at Taika. “Unlike some people.”
Does she know it’s Bekan? Taika wondered, pretending to return to reading.
“Oh, do you think he’d like you?” Laika asked Taika.
Taika looked back up again. “N-No,” Taika said. She doesn’t know. The thought made her snicker.
“He’d like me,” Laika said, standing up. “Once he learns of my own noble birth, and of my skill with Cenric’s Book. I can woo him as easily as I weave magic. If he could only see me--”
“--he wouldn’t.” Belka entered the study, and leaned against the nearest bookshelf. “You are not comely enough, nor are you some kind of prodigy with your Cenric Book.” She looked at Taika, fixing her with a cool gaze. “Why haven’t you told Laika that he is our cousin?”
Laika gasped, blushing. She hurried from the room, clutching her novel.
Taika couldn't keep from laughing, and she swore she saw Belka smirk before walking after Laika.
Taika spent the rest of her day in her studies. Father Jarvinem wandered into the books’ room, perhaps pretending to browse the shelves while peeking at Taika occasionally. She didn’t like the attention, but she supposed it was better now that Laika had gone into the yard to practice rather than hang around, reading from old romance novels...
Someone softly shook Taika’s shoulder. “Dinner.”
Taika lifted her head, blinking. Did I really fall asleep? She looked at the open book that had been her pillow, and thanked the Empress that she hadn’t drooled. What would Father Jarvinem’s punishment be for that? “Thank you for waking me,” Taika said, looking to see who it was, “Sola.”
Sola smiled and curtsied. “You know your sisters are both talking to your cousin, but it is unclear why. I had not heard of him until today, and my father said that he only knew Bekan was a distant cousin.”
“Well...” Taika said. “Bekan is still a first cousin, I think.” She rubbed her eyes. “Could you put some of these books away for me? If it’s... if it’s not too much trouble?”
“It’s not too much trouble,” Sola said, smiling.
Taika thought that she' offered to help Sola enough in the past that it was fair to ask for such favors. She ended up putting a few away herself before Sola reminded Taika of Mother Jarvinem’s insistence on punctuality, whereupon Taika hurried out. Her cloak was not proper dinner attire, but she did not know if she would have time to change.
And so she hurried to her seat in the dining room without meeting Mother Jarvinem’s glare, and hardly noticed Bekan sitting across from her until he said, “Hello, Taika!”
At the table were Bekan, Mother Jarvinem, Belka, and Father Jarvinem beside a slightly distraught looking Laika.
"Everyone," Mother Jarvinem said, "this is Bekan Jarvinem, my sister's son. You should all know that he is of high birth, as we are. And he, like Belka, studied and trained for the cleric's journey... But we have not told him the reason for his invitation--"
“I’ve figured it out now,” Bekan said, with a stern glance at Father and Mother Jarvinem. “You have decided on Taika, for the chosen Jarvinem cleric of this cycle. And I am to protect her.”
Mother Jarvinem nodded so serenely that Taika was almost angry. Yes, as though Belka hadn’t been a choice at all. And Belka, to her credit, bristled. If the time for choosing were no so close, Belka would be leaving after fighting this dragonknight... Taika wished there was enough time. Of Taika’s family, Belka least agreed with any of them. “Second choice,” Belka hissed. “I have official business which is much more important than these outdated customs.”
This drew a soft gasp from Mother Jarvinem. “Do not speak of the journey as outdated, there is a--”
“I know,” Belka said, sighing. “Yes, fine, we have Bekan now. But he is second choice now, too. Are you to accompany her?”
Bekan, softly, said that he would.
“Sooner hire a mercenary,” Belka said, her chin slightly up. “A nobleman like Bekan will not do well in Urvek. We would need a native Urvekkan.”
“Bekan will do well,” Mother Jarvinem said.
“He has, like you, been training for most of his life,” Father Jarvinem said, perhaps not knowing the redundancy of his statement. “He will do as well as you.”
“Not as well as I would,” Belka said, staring at Bekan. “I would challenge you to a duel.”
“Would you?” Bekan asked, with a light hearted chuckle as though Belka hadn’t been so confrontational. “I’d accept. If you wish for me to prove myself to you. If you want to ensure that your sister has a competent guardian!”
Is Bekan saying that Belka is concerned about me? Taika wondered, with a glance at Belka.
Belka glanced back at Taika, her expression nearing ambivalence, and Taika thought she had her own answer then. “Tomorrow,” Belka said. She glared at Mother Jarvinem. “I don’t think it bears well to delay dealing with the dragonknight. I will kill them, and then I will--” She caught herself, “I will duel my fair cousin. And then I will be the one to bring honor back to our family by taking up the cleric’s quest.”
---
Taika didn’t wait around after dinner ended, the way she had the night before. Mother Jarvinem and Belka did not speak for the rest of the dinner, and Bekan’s attempts at light conversation with Father Jarvinem ended up flat. Laika seemed shaken, staring down, avoiding contact with everyone. Is she still embarrassed by her not knowing that Bekan is our cousin?
Taika shuddered whenever Bekan opened with another, “Well, this one time...” or “See, the thing about that is...” She could tell he meant well, and even that he was keeping remarkably good composure in the face of the awkward dispute that Father Jarvinem no doubt blamed him for. That doesn’t work here, Taika had thought, hoping to catch Bekan’s eye for longer than a second.
Afterward, Taika walked back to the entrance hall, and hoped that Bekan would follow her back, but a few minutes passed without him. She sat on the staircase where she’d been the night before, and decided she liked the relative quiet. A sense of duty drove her to open the Cenric Book, to go over some lines and runes again.
And eventually Laika stepped out into the room. Taika looked up from her book, uncertain of whether or not Laika knew she was there.
Whispering, Laika wandered to the center of the room, clutching her Cenric Book like a stuffed animal. She stopped in front of the doors, and looked up as though to go outside. Whatever she was whispering, Taika could hear a worried tone in Laika’s voice. Then, louder, “please don’t let Belka go,” she said softly, holding up the book. She peered into the worn cover, and whispered something else. She turned back around, distracted by the Book, and jumped when she saw Taika, dropping the book at her feet.
“S-Sorry,” Taika muttered.
“How long were you there?” Laika asked, flustered.
“Uhm,” Taika said, “since dinner.”
“Oh,” Laika said. She knelt and picked up her book, looking at the corners. “I think this is dumb.”
Taika looked away. “I should probably just leave before Belka can get a chance,” Taika muttered.
“What?” Laika asked. “No, this isn’t about you! Mother is making things difficult. No one has to go on the stupid quest. We should make Bekan go, since he keeps saying he wants to.” She walked to the foot of the stairs. “Do you want to go? And abandon us here?”
“Abandon?” Taika asked. Who would I be abandoning?
Laika frowned. “I think this is stupid,” she said, holding up her Cenric Book. “A dumb old tradition.”
Taika looked around the room, scared that someone else might be in there with them.
“Hey!” Laika shouted. “Do you think someone might hear me and think it’s you?” She threw the book on the ground. “I don’t care! Cenric is dead and no one cares!”
“L-L-Laika...”
“This dumb thing doesn’t even work right,” Laika said, blinking back tears suddenly. “Father told me... Father told me...” She sniffled.
Taika bunched up further. She’d never seen Laika so openly distraught.
“He’s been making the magic for me,” Laika said. “Whenever he tests us, he just uses his own magic to make me look-look-look,” her chin was shaking, “look like I’m special. Every time I think I’ve been winning...” She stifled a sob, then spun on Taika. “Yeah, I bet you’re laughing now! ‘Laika you’re so stupid! You thought you were good at magic!’”
“I didn’t say that,” Taika said softly. She felt a little light headed, suddenly. Is he making my magic look worse, too? Or am I... better than Laika? “I’m sure you’re still better than me.”
“Dad...” Laika said. Her voice grew very soft, and Taika strained to hear. “Father hates you more than he loves me. And Mother only cares about Belka because Belka is gonna take over when Mom’s dead. And now you’re going to go on the great big quest, with Bekan, and I’m gonna be stuck here. What use does Father have for me if you’re not here?”
Taika blinked, and tried to think of something appropriate to say in response. Something caring. But there was a rustling from the hallway leading to the kitchen, and Taika kept silent, as did Laika.
Bekan walked in. “Taika?” He asked, walking past Laika. “I heard someone yelling in here just now?”
Laika looked at Taika and turned and stomped away. Watching her go, Taika tried to say something meaningful, and mouthed Laika, but found herself unable to actually speak.
Bekan glanced between Taika and Laika. “Hey,” he said, with a smirk, “so that was a pretty awkward dinner, wasn’t it?” He took a step forward and almost stumbled on Laika’s Cenric Book. “Oh,” he said, kneeling. “Did she... did she drop this?”
“Yeah,” Taika said. “I’ll... I’ll give it to her later.”
---
In the morning, Taika went to the dining room. Yawning, she turned the corner, expecting to see a set table. Instead, the tablecloth was empty, though flat and clean. Taika wandered around, confused. There was usually someone there, usually Laika and Sola. She felt a little woozy, as though she were realizing that she were in some dream. No, something else is strange, she thought.
The previous night. Belka’s announcement, her boastful ultimatum. And Laika’s confession.
She wrapped herself tighter in her cloak and left, going for the study. She would cross the entrance hall to get there, but it didn’t bother her to do so.
And yet there, in the hallway, was Itko. Facing the double doors, one hand resting on the flat of the door itself. He glanced over his shoulder at Taika, and then turned. “Good morning, Miss Taika,” he said. A thin pain pervaded his tone.
“Itko,” she said, in greeting, stopping. “Do you know where everyone is?”
He stood for a second, as though uncomprehending. “Miss Laika and the Lady left with Belka. I believe they are going to watch the fight.” He rubbed his eyes. “Forgive me, Sola did as well.”
“Uh,” Taika said. “And Bekan?”
“With Alfred,” he said. “I mean... with your father.” He cast his eyes down to the floor.
“Itko?” Taika asked, taking a step closer. Him too? Is everything falling apart?
“He is eager to see you and Bekan leave,” Itko said, distantly. “Do you wish for me to tell you when someone returns?”
“Please,” Taika said. “Yes, please.”
“Where can I find you?” He asked. Something about his tone, perhaps the way it bordered on the mournful, made Taika wonder if he was asking in general or specifically for later that day.
And so she didn’t know how to answer. “Study,” she said, though it seemed curt afterward. “I’ll be studying.”
“I will let you know then,” he said, “Miss Taika.”
---
Taika sat in the solitude of the study. There was a wind blowing outside the window, a gust which seemed to make the inactivity inside of the study a kind of deadness. Silent by comparison. Each turn of the page seemed obnoxious in the face of the silence.
She knew that time was passing. Reading and rereading the historical texts that Father Jarvinem had supplied, she found herself losing track of her place and then closed all of it and found a plate sized chalkboard. She opened her Cenric Book, intent on at least practicing her runes, when Itko stepped into the room. Taika looked up, almost startled, chalk in her hand.
He didn’t say anything, staring with a dead shock. Taika got up and followed when he retreated, down the hallway toward the front door where Taika could now hear the front doors clanging open. She stepped into the entrance room just in time to see Mother Jarvinem stepping inside, her cloak billowing with the gust of snow. She waved at Taika and Itko to step aside, glaring at them.
Taika and Itko hopped to the left, standing side by side as Father Jarvinem and Bekan entered, carrying something between them. It took a moment longer for Taika to see that it was a stretcher, and to glimpse, for a moment, Belka’s bloodied face half turned away. Eyes closed. And Bekan and Father Jarvinem kept walking, down the main aisle into the dining room. Sola shadowed Mother Jarvinem into the dining room, and then Itko, leaving Taika alone in the entrance hallway for a moment.
Until Laika stepped through the entrance too, panting, her face red. She looked at Taika with teary eyes and sprinted past.
Finally, Taika found the courage to move too, hurrying after Laika.
Mother and Father Jarvinem had cleared the table, the cloth and empty plates fallen on the sides, and placed Belka upon the center. They knelt on either side, their Cenric Books open before them, and each began chanting. Taika stared, transfixed first with the way her parents’ eyes seemed to glow, their bodies charging. And then transfixed with the spreading pool of blood around Belka’s body, the way her palms were up, fingers unfurled.
A hand on her shoulder pulled her back. Taika expected to see Bekan, but it was Itko instead. As when he’d alerted her in the study, he said nothing, only walking, looking frequently to ensure she followed.
They made it back into the entrance hallway and he stopped, and pointed to the stairs. “Your things,” Itko said. “I’ve packed your things.”
“My... my things?” Taika asked.
“Everything you’ll need for the trip,” Itko said. “Or everything that you can take... please trust me, but I... I knew this would happen.” He looked past Taika, toward the dining room, and now Bekan entered the room. “Please, sir, take Taika.”
Bekan glanced between Taika and Itko, with something of a vacant expression in his eyes. “Uh,” he said. “Yes, I suppose Belka will... no longer be able to accompany us.” There was a dull roaring sound, like wind, coming from the dining room. Taika knew it to be the sound of magic, but of a stranger frequency than she’d ever heard.
“What--What happened?” Taika asked.
“You!” Laika’s cry was shrill, harsh. Laika rushed from behind Bekan, barreling into Taika. She was crying, but swinging her fists. Bekan swept Laika up before she could do much other than knock Taika off balance, holding her as she kicked and protested.
“It really is time for you to go,” Itko said desperately to Taika.
Taika, still catching her balance, looked around desperately at Bekan and Itko. Then, seeing Laika finally settling down enough to fix Taika with a cold stare, Taika took off for the staircase. What’s going wrong? What's Laika so upset at me about?
She found her way into her room, and found her pack on her bed, beside a briefcase. Atop her briefcase was her Cenric Book. She slung the pack over her shoulders, staggering with the weight, and then scooped up her Cenric Book and grabbed the briefcase. She took a long look at her room, wondering if she’d ever see it again, and left.
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